Discipline

I've desperately tried to discover what happened to me my freshman year of college.  I still am not quite sure.  A rebound from high school and living at home?  If you want to know what I look like 45-50 lbs heavier now you know.  

It boils down to Discipline.  I had none.

No exercise.  I had always exercised and played sports.

No sleep.  I stayed out until 2-4 am and slept in or through many of my classes.

Junk.  I ate junk.  So much candy it sickens me.  Junior mints and sour gummy bears were the biggest culprits.  We laughed at the girl on our floor who counted her M & M's but guess who didn't get fat?

Mess.  My dorm room was a disaster.  

No 4.0.  I think after the obsession with a 4.0 in high school I just decided not to care anymore.  Some how I rolled out of that year with a high GPA but I regret my decision not to try.  I didn't even reapply for my scholarship.  I could have been outstanding and I wasn't.

Today I ran seven 800 meter sprints between a 2:55 and 2:28 pace. I'm training to run a marathon in just over 3 hours.  If you told me I would ever be able to do these things I would have laughed.    In high school I didn't think I could run faster than a 9 minute mile. 

I run.  I read.  I educate.  I cook.  So I do not become what I was.  I'm grateful to look back and learn and determined to never lose focus like that again.  Certainly I was not happier at 173 lbs and a mediocre effort at life.