Books that Changed Me

This isn't a post of intellectual or any other form of snobbery, but only an expression of my hope that others can find the same joy and journeys in literature as I do.

"The Brothers Karamazov" by Fyodor Dostoevsky 

I can only compare this book to the Bible in its power to demand self reflection.  Dostoevsky brilliancy is unmatched by anything I have read.  His books have a disturbing way of making me probe every belief I've clung to.  Sometimes in this book I wanted to reject God and religion completely.  Other times I wanted to throw it on the ground.  I find myself drawn in some ways to the most vile of characters, but in so doing I am forced to expand my circle of understanding and sympathy just that much more.  I wish in one fell swoop my heart would soften but it needs constant reminding.

I'm amazed by the life of Dostoevsky.  He was by all accounts dysfunctional on almost all levels.  And yet his novels clearly show me God can use any person as His instrument.  God bestows His gifts on His children in all times and places regardless of any earning.  History seems to pound this lesson into me, over and over again, be it Mozart or Joseph Smith.

Dostoevsky raises so many questions.  He answers none of them.  Maybe that's why his novels force me to think beyond my comfort zone and leave me so hungry.

"The God Who Weeps"  by Fiona and Terryl Givens

If freely admit I have a crush on this man's brain.  For three years I have followed his work, read his articles and books, and listened to podcast interviews. Mormon history is fraught with so many troubling things.  Joseph Smith is one of the most complex historical figures in 19th century America. God and religion themselves can be messy and difficult to make philosophical sense of.  At times, I figuratively have to jump ship.  It's always been this way for me.  I have this strange dichotomy of faith and doubt.  Whether I was 14 and reading "Doctrines of Salvation"deeply disturbed by the complete dismissal of Scientific reasoning or 19 sitting in a dark corner of the Special Collections library in college surrounded by 20 dusty books on polygamy (I don't think they were flying off the shelves much at BYU). Terryl's work has helped me wade through what can seem at times just too murky.  He describes true faith as impossible without equal compulsions to believe or disbelieve.  Faith is first and foremost a choice.

"The God Who Weeps" was just published and coauthored with his wife.  It is a theological treatise on the "Mormon" God they believe Joseph Smith introduced us to.  I am on board.

The Givens' describe a God who is perfect because of his vulnerability, not power.   Life is not about creating an account of good deeds or ordinances, instead it is about learning to expose ourselves and our hearts as God does.  Becoming Godlike is not about becoming powerful but about becoming vulnerable.   Weeping.  

There is a beautiful chapter on the pre-existence which tackles head on the theodicy (or the problem of an omnipotent God and the existence of pain, evil...etc).  For me, it provided the most intriguing and honest answer.  It wasn't anything I have ever learned being a mormon all my life, but it was brilliantly clear to me in the scriptures and doctrine once elucidated.

I love the Romantics.  Givens is a professor of Romantic literature.  He draws literary and historical parallels from myriad personalities and faith traditions, which enhance the understanding of God Joseph introduced us to.

A few tough issues or scriptural incidences were glossed over or omitted.  However it is not a long read, nor does it claim to be exhaustive.

A fascinating corollary to reading this book was the insight it brought me about some of the brutality of Christianity through the ages.  The girls and I just waded through some of the most disturbing times in Europe including the Crusades and Holy Wars.  I have a small inkling on how they used the God they understood as justification for their atrocities.  That God I dismiss.  I don't know how much liberty we do or do not have with God to create or understand Him in a way that brings us the most peace.  It may be offensive, or pompous.   I'm not sure.  But for someone like me, if I can't understand my religion and my personal relationship with God with a bit of flux it may give way completely.

There was also a time in my life when I could "shelve" things for later.  I must be going through a mid-life crisis of some sort, but that won't work right now.  I don't know all the reasons.  I have a brain which never puts my keys or phone in the same place, writes down a recipe, or remembers to fill the car up with gas.  A brain which forgets to temper its enthusiasm and passion in conversation (leading sometimes to unintended offenses).  But, this same brain is giddy trying to solve a math problem or dive into a new ocean of research.

I unreservedly recommend this book, especially to all those searching to find a God they truly want to adore and worship with their reason and their heart.   For me it is on the right course.



Other Books I've Recently Read Independently or With my Children:

"The Witch of Blackbird Pond" by Elizabeth George Speare  This is an insightful introduction to early American history and Puritan society.  It gently helped my girls understand the dangerous prejudices of religious fanaticism rampant during the 17th century, and kept them eager with just enough romantic drama.

"Johnny Tremain" by Esther Forbes I felt I had the inside scoop on the American Revolution in this novel.  The history was excellent and didn't feel artificial or overly romanticized.  As a historian writing a children's book, Forbes brought well earned historical insight right along side an emotionally intriguing plot.  

"Walk the Worlds Rim" by Betty Baker  This book provided an interesting perspective on the Conquistadors and the exploration of the Southern United States and Mexico.  It is something I have little knowledge and I enjoyed experiencing it through the eyes of an adolescent Native American, in his own coming of age journey.

"The Candymakers" by Wendy Mass If you are in the mood for a little mystery, this is a clever, well written, plot driven book.  Neither Ellery nor I could put it down.  Much to Callista's chagrin, the two of us independently snuck it off and read it outside of read-a-loud.  "Mommm!  That is so unfair!"

"Carry On, Mr. Bowditch" Jean Lee Latham  I am so grateful Latham chose to immortalize this man's life.  He was fascinating and brilliant.  Against odds, he contributed quietly but profoundly to society.  This book provides an excellent example of perseverance and positive ambition.

"Atlas Shrugged" by Ayn Rand  (Not appropriate for children) I simply couldn't get on board with the unbridled capitalism and humanism of this book.  I recommend it because of the complex and thorough argument Rand presents for the virtue of such a society.  Unrestrained capitalism becomes the utopia inside a dystopia of government regulation and dependency.  However, Rands utopia for me, left much to be desired.

"Angel Prayer" by John Johnson  I was given this book at book exchange.  Reading the inside cover, it wasn't one I would probably have chosen off a shelf.  However, I was pleasantly surprised.  The plot was interesting enough to keep me turning the pages with equal doses of mystery, crime, romance, and self-discovery.  I think at this particular moment this book spoke to me because of an overriding theme of develop a beautiful heart.  A beautiful heart being a vulnerable one.  The protagonists life is presented contemporaneously and in flash back.  We see he's had opportunities to become vulnerable yet missed them.  It takes tragedy for him to understand he must weep and hurt to become the kind of person he sees in others but cannot see in himself.   Too often I miss the small opportunities in my life to open my heart and weep more.  When the circumstance is so acute or expansive, the birth of child, the health of a loved one, the rejection of a friend... it can't help but be transformative. I have these.  I need these.  But I think if I look a little closer I have these opportunities everyday.  Why not try to a little better everyday?  Count me in.

Something to Read...Perfect additions to your Children's Library

We continued our family Christmas tradition of:

A Want...A Need...And Something to Read

I am always looking for excuses to buy books for my children and our library.  Christmas is just such the occasion. Additionally, my mom started a great tradition for an annual "Cousins Book Exchange."  More books.  Hooray!  I love not being inundated with junk from the "Under $5 Limit" present exchange.   I'm going to try to transfer this tradition to the other side of the family as well!

To win my heart give my children your favorite book.  At birthday parties, we always bring books.  My friend Amy always gives the most fabulous books.  Oh how I love her!

So....Which children's books did we add this year?  

Here is the sampling:

A Wrinkle in Time series by Madeleine L 'Engle for Ellery.  She's read the first book and has been dying for the next.  This is her first foray into the Science Fiction genre.  

Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein for Callista.  I can't believe we didn't have any of his books in our library.  Already and expectedly, "Sick" is the favorite poem.  Callista also loves "The Acrobats."

The Eensy-weensy Spider by Mary Ann Hoberman for Emmett and Row, Row, Row Your Boat by Iza Trapani for Berkeley.  I love books which add clever verses and illustrations to familiar nursery  rhymes and songs.  Hoberman, Trapani and Nadine Bernard Westcott  are the best at this.

Favorites Children's Books We Gave:

The Spider and the Fly by Mary Howitt (6 year old boy)  If you are looking for a book with excellent "boy appeal" this is the one.  The illustrations by Tony DiTerlizzi are fabulous.  All my children love it, but it was a perfect fit for Mark and his 10 year old brother Bruce.  The message is classic and timeless.  All I have to say is "Will you walk into my parlor..." and the girls are hooked.  Ellery even has this one memorized.

Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes illustrated by Scott Gustafson (2 year old)  This will forever remind me of bed rest and reading to Emmett.  It has the most beautiful illustrations of Nursery Rhymes I have found.  I keep 5 or 6 on hand for baby shower gifts.

King Bidgoods in the Bathtub by Audrey Wood (3 year old girl)  Again captivating illustrations and witty prose.  

Strega Nona by Tomie de Paola  (5 year old girl)  I grew up with my mom reading me her favorite story from when she was a little girl "The Little Pot that Wouldn't Stop."  This old Italian folktale is timeless.

Favorite Children's Books we Received:

Iza Trapani of I'm a Little Teapot  we also have Baa, Baa Black Sheep.  I would recommend any and all of them.

he best book we received was a short, unexpectedly clever book about a giant turnip.  It looks like there are myriad versions of this story.  The Tale of the Turnip by Brian Alderson is the one we received.  

A Place for Bribery

I admit.  Bribery has a place in my methodology.  Nothing spells incentive and excitement like a little bottle of glittery, glow-in-the-dark nail polish!

I'm amazed how fun the children think it is to earn a new pair of socks.  The socks are a necessary expenditure in the first place, why not make them serve a sneaky purpose?  This is my most genius stroke in a while.  My children probably get too much in the first place, so I better make them work a bit harder for everything they do receive.   Actually my inspiration for this concept was the book The Five Love Languages of Children.  My SIL gave me the book a couple years ago.  It was worthwhile read.  I loved the idea of making things like a new toothbrush special to children, who thrive on gifts.  I never would have thought of wrapping a toothbrush.

Usually I attach prizes to very measurable tasks.  Currently Callista is working on completing math fact sheets of 25 problems in one minute.  For the nail polish she has to master her "doubles plus one's."  Ellery is working for 100 problems in under 2 minutes, with an end goal of beating me in 63 seconds.

I usually tie their tasks to one another (both have to pass off a goal to earn a single nail polish), to promote team unity, rather than compare and compete.  But some rewards remain individual, especially if I feel like one of the children has worked especially hard.

What you won't find me rewarding or bribing with is food.  Probably this strategy will lose novelty if used too often, like most things, but it is fun to incorporate with spelling, math and gymnastics.

A Learning Treasure

Meet the Dictionary Stand.

Our newest family member.  

Several years ago Brent's Grandma gave us this amazing 1910 Edition of Webster's Dictionary.  It is a dream come true for my book loving heart.   Instilling a love of language and books in my family tops my parenting and educational priorities.

Staged.  But cute nonetheless!

Notice the screwdriver in Emmett's hand.  Huh?

When Brent first brought this treasure home from his Grandma's, I instinctively knew I wanted it on a dictionary stand.  They say an open dictionary, on a stand, can be one of the most effective and influential learning centers in the home.  Somehow there is no comparison if the book is closed on a shelf.



Alas, bookstands are expensive so I delayed.  Thanks to several amazon gift cards, this black beauty arrived today.  At long last the dictionary is open for use.  My children aren't tall enough but a little stool quickly remedies the situation.

Summer Reading

Some of the latest things we've been reading....

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland  by Lewis Carroll

Through the Looking Glass  by Lewis Carroll

These have not been my favorite, which may be somewhat blasphemous to say.  I bought the annotated edition, which is actually fascinating, because Carroll was a true genius of parody.  But I find the tales too nonsensical to enjoy reading together.  That being said....Ellery loves them.  Callista is more neutral.  Emmett gets excited anytime we talk about "The Queen of Hearts".  He starts reciting Mother Goose.

The Hundred and One Dalmatians by Dodie Smith.

The delightful story Disney drew their movie from.  Of course it is is better than the movie.  You will LOVE Cruella Deville.  What a fantastic villian!

Ellery is currently reading... 


Wind Dancer by Craig Clyde and James Hennessy.

This book was given to her by the nurses at PCMC.  She loves it.  The story chronicles the life of a little girl and her horse, who have a series of difficult challenges to overcome and endure.  It is a sweet little story.  After finishing the Little House Series, Ellery has been waffling around a bit really latching on to some books she loves.  She has also recently read

The Hundred Dresses by Eleanor Estes

The Five Children and It by Edith Nesbit

This one was a bit challenging.  She made it through half but got a bit discouraged in the comprehension.  As soon as we finish Through the Looking Glass we will pick it up together.

Callista is currently reading....

Frog and Toad  books by Arnold Lobel

These are the most delightful books.  I could just read them over and over again and laugh everytime.  They are perfect for Callista's personality.

The Magic Tree House Series  by Mary Pope Osborne

Trading pages is the best way to read these still.  They are a little more challenging for her, but give her some great new words, in wonderful context, while still including a good amount of repetition.  

Callista's little reading light bulb just shot on with amazing brilliance.  I love watching that happen.  I remember with Ellery.  Callista is about a year and a half younger, but I think that so normal.  It happens for each person at a different time.  Her new passion of reading to Emmett has also allowed her skills to flourish.


Emmett's favorite books are currently....

Mother Goose (still)


Jack and the Beanstalk


The Gingerbread Man


The Little Engine that Could

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs


Green Eggs and Ham

Rebecca is currently reading...

Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky

Just in the beginning stages.  Fascinating.

Dialogue: A Journal of Mormon Thought  current issue Summer 2011

I feel I have come full circle in some ways in my religious thinking and world view.  But the view is broader and far more encompassing this time around.  I am back to my environmental and scientific roots.  Evolution just makes perfect sense to me.  It is a beautiful unifying theory.  I believe God works through imperfect people who can become corrupted in so many ways.  Some application of Darwin's theory have wreaked unequivocal horror on humankind.  But this does not discount his work and contribution to mankind.  The same could be said of Joseph Smith of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Really this evolution in my thinking deserves several detailed posts.  One of these days I will have the time.  But let me leave a quote from an article in DIALOGUE, written by Bryan V. Wallis, Flexibility in the Ecology of Ideas:  Revelatory Religion and the Environment.  pg 59.

 Systems of thought that influence how individuals or societies perceive themselves in the context of the world must be continually evaluated and modified based on new information and evolving needs and circumstances... Continual modifications must be made to preserve overall systemic integrity.

If I could sum up my life in a few sentences, these may fit as well as any.

Recently finished....

Antony and Cleopatra by Shakespeare

A passionate play, where I found myself trying to find redeeming qualities in the protagonists, but came up short.  Instead I found myself determined to pinpoint my own passions and be acutely aware they do not lead me into destruction large or small.  And our passions can be many and varied.

The Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith (selections)

While I agree with many of the principles of free trade, there seems to be some moral ambiguity in a completely free market system that I am beginning to feel very uncomfortable with.

Not So Peaceful Reading

What have I been reading lately...

War and Peace by Tolstoy

This book was quite the behemoth but certainly worth the effort.  Tolstoy has an uncanny gift of bringing war to life.  War, not only physical and literal but spiritual and emotional as well.  Tolstoy found a sympathetic patron in me.  I certainly find no winners in war.  It is provocative to feel a part of the defeat of Napoleon.  The paradoxical retreat of the Russians, the destruction of their own Moscow.  Their unwillingness to bargain.  From Tolstoy, I left the book feeling without the Russians, Napoleon would have conquered the world.  This said, there was nothing glorious.  No glamour.  Fear and humanity on so many levels.    Right now, I wish I could hear Natasha sing, or watch her nurse her own babies.  I wish Prince Andrei alive, and I am grateful Pierre developed temperance and honor.

Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell

Another war, smaller in scale, but arguably of no less import.  Most intriguing to me in this book was the portrait of the South from the perspective of the slave-owning gentry.  The book is painfully offensive in its portrayal of blacks.  My stomach felt sick as Mitchell continually used animals like monkeys, children, old dogs etc to personify blacks.  But strikingly, the tone is never malicious, only loving.  In fact, the North comes off as far more inflammatory and prejudice.  The Ku Klux Klan is a brotherhood of loving fathers and husbands, protecting their victimized women.  I had never even thought to conceptualized a place like the South as painted by Mitchell.  My nature screamed against Scarlett for 1200 pages.  I kept waiting for her to embrace those pivotal moments she continuously came upon, to redirect her course.  She never did.  I could love Melanie, Rhett had moments, but mostly this was a book which allowed me to experience mistake after mistake, vowing internally never to act thus.

Latching on to the Moments

Emmett in the left nook with The Little Red Hen, Ellery on the bed...

Slivers of our little idyllic life resurfaced today.  The last 5 hours Ellery can walk again.  The antibiotic seems to be finally working out of her system.

I latch onto these moments with a vengeance.   We had a great time doing math, reading (we finished Old Yeller a week or so ago and now are reading The Secret Garden), spelling and then this precious way they arranged themselves for quiet reading.

I can snatch a moment at the computer and contemplate the recorded phone call from the library I just got:

  

...Callista reading Frog and Toad
in the right nook.

" You have 12 items overdue.  You have 12 items overdue.  You have 12 items overdue...."  

At some point I just need to face the facts, me and the library are not a good combination.  With the money I spend on library fines, I could have purchased the best of the books we love.  

The girls are going to yoga today.  I had high hopes they would love it like gymnastics, but after this punch card is up I don't think I will repurchase.  I think yoga is better suited to the older adolescent and adult.  It doesn't have near the engagement and excitement of gymnastics.  

We have been trying very hard to "force" Ellery back into a schedule even though she has still been complaining of significant pain in her tummy, chest and ears.  I have been doing my best to explain to her "distraction" is the only medicine we have to help her right now.  It can be quite a battle, but if this stomach cramping is finally gone, things should be much easier.

You will notice in prep for our getaway, the swimming
suits resurfaced as the clothing of choice.

Emmett's comment as he descended the stairs after quiet time:

"Mom!  I read my book.  All!  HUMONGOUS book!"

He has a very endearing way of attaching "all" as an adverb at the end of his sentences.  And he does it with gusto.

"Mom! I ate my sandwich.  All!"

Another side note...

I love the "retouch" feature in iphoto.  You would never know the darling quilt (you are seeing the underside) in the photos above has a huge bleach stain.

If only I had a "retouch" feature in reality.  Isn't it interesting how picture perfect we can make things seem?  :)

Nothing Holds a Candle to Literature

In only seven days I have been privy to 2 powerful and poignant literary masterpieces. Two disparate genres. Two similar experiences.

Firstly, I finished Les Miserables by Victor Hugo. I literally sobbed into my pillow at 12:30 am for 45 minutes as I read the closing pages of this book, my heart and spirit heavily invested in the tragic but triumphant life of Jean Valjean. I found myself not just spilling tears but crying out into my pillow (under the covers with my flashlight of course) in anger and frustration to try to spare the characters the painful journey out of the holes I watched them dig.

This is one 1,400 page book worth reading. I read the unabridged version. There were some interjectory parts I skimmed, but some of these historical interludes I devoured.

Secondly, I just came downstairs from reading with the girls seven, I dare say scriptural, pages in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (book 5 in the Chronicles of Narnia). Pages 104 through 111. I struggled to fight back the tears as I felt the raw emotion of this allegory of Christ healing us from our sinful states. The spirit was tangible. Lying in bed, each of my daughters sat up during this chapter, their little bodies not relaxed, their minds absorbed, their mouths silent.

It was Aslan. The girls knew it was Aslan, come to heal Eustace. After a simple prompt, Ellery immediately grasped the illusion. It is Jesus Mom. He is the only one who rid us of our dragon skins. My reply: And sometimes it really hurts. Who hasn't been there? My heart beats faster as I mull over these passages in my mind. We speak of literature that edifies, this is such. I don't know if you could just read this book and have the passage move you, or if the entire series is needed. But this one chapter, in this one book makes the entire Chronicles worth every moment.

Two fantastic presents for anyone. Les Miserables or The Chronicles of Narnia.

I know they have made the movies recently of the Chronicles of Narnia. I haven't seen them. I can't imagine they hold a candle to the books, but I could be wrong. I just don't see how you would pull the majesty and raw emotion of this particular scene in a movie. I could be wrong.

More Read-a-Louds

I think I have posted before our Christmas tradition of giving our children

A Want, A Need, and Something to Read

This tradition was shared with me by a fantastic family the Hatches, whom we met 12 years ago when Brent and I first got married. I have been thinking a lot about books lately as I prepare for the holidays. I always have a list of 50 I want to buy, and I am grateful for an excuse to cut a dent. Yesterday I posted about the Old Mother West Wind series. Last year for Christmas the children also received The Little House series by Laura Ingalls Wilder and The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis.

About a month ago the girls and I finished the Little House books. They are a greater endeavor than Burgess' books with more mature plot lines and increased length. The books are each about 250-300 pages with an average chapter length of 8-10 pages. But let me divulge a small example of how the characters gripped my children. It was one of those "Mother's Moments" which happened as we were reading the last few pages in These Happy Golden Years, the final book written by Laura. To briefly set the scene, Laura is marrying Almonzo in the morning, and Pa's fiddling all her favorite melodies from childhood. Suddenly, Callista just starts sobbing and laughing all at once.

"Mommy it is just so sad and happy." she choked out. "Laura is leaving home but she loves Almonzo so much. It will just be so different now."

I was floored at the depth of her understanding and emotion. She knew exactly what was happening in Laura's life. It was real. We watched Laura grow up from the time she was 5 years old in The Little House in the Big Woods.

At one point, while we were reading These Happy Golden Years, I told Brent I better finish this one fast with them, because they literally would follow me around the house, holding the book, begging for me to read to them. They giggled and blushed continually at Almonzo and Laura's sweet, innocent courtship.

The children and I learned lessons about pioneer life, gratitude, familial relationships, finances, wildlife, and love. I often find myself using Laura and Mary as positive examples for my children. I can off-handedly comment "Wow, remember how Laura and Mary would work so hard to make Ma's day just a little bit easier. Even without her asking them!" or "Remember when Laura and Mary had just a handful of wheat left for all of them to eat during The Long Winter. We are so lucky to have so much. They were so grateful for just a small piece of bread." I could go on and on. The girls behavior is immediately altered, at least for the short term, until they need another gentle reminder :)

We read all 8 books. I chose not to read The First Four Years with them. I have read on the internet the reviews, which say it was not written by Laura, only based on her journals. It is supposedly quite sad, lacking the exuberance and humor of the other books. Laura made me smile through my tears in The Long Winter, and we will never forget the panther screaming like a woman in agony in On The Banks of Plum Creek, what a gift she has. I will probably read the final book composed by her daughter and see if it is appropriate.

Callista actually had a literal "page count down" going until we reached this illustration.

She was giddy for the romance. I savored the innocence of it all.

I bought the entire boxed set on Amazon (can you tell I don't get out much). You will love the illustrations by Garth Williams. He actually visited all the sites from her childhood in order to make authentic drawings.

More often than not, "Field Trip Friday" turns into "Read Aloud Friday." Lately, we have been to so many doctors appointments, we just want to stay home and snuggle and read. Usually we head to the basement for Emmett to do handstands, bridges, and somersaults (which by the way are adorable), while the girls and I are engrossed in a book.

Perfect First Read-a-Loud Chapter Books

When I talk to many of my friends they are amazed how my children adore, and beg for chapter books daily. It was a little daunting to me to decide to dive into longer, more complex plots with my children and no pictures. I think our very first book was Charlotte's Web by E.B. White.

The children love series (but imho skip the "junk" books and stick with literature). It seems like 200 pages isn't enough, when the author is gifted and the characters so endearing. One of the best recommendations I have for starting to read longer chapter books with your little ones are the Old Mother West Wind books by Thornton W. Burgess.

These darling books are only about 70 pages long, and each chapter is maybe 3 pages. I have found, even Emmett is beginning to sit still and listen to the chapters. Nearly every chapter starts with a charming little poem like the one found in Chapter XII of The Adventures of Old Man Coyote:

Believe all the good that you may hear,

But always doubt the bad.

Pass on the word of kindly cheer;

Forget the tale that's sad.

There are lovely moral lessons as well as natural history information on the little woodland creatures of the Green Forest. There are a few pictures scattered throughout the book. However, be prepared they don't always coincide with the proper text.

Ellery and I trade pages on this book when we read during school. At night, it is just me. I bought a boxed set (be sure to get the unabridged) on Amazon for only $10.

Flashlights

Independent reading has not come early or easy to Ellery. Read aloud is an entirely different story. She begs for, The Chronicles of Narnia, The Little House series, Old Mother West Winds, Chinese or Egyptian Myths, you name it and she is passionate about hearing it. In fact, we even have some tantrums if we don't read for a sufficient length of time (which can be hours).

I often let slip in conversation with Ellery, little tidbits about my voracious reading appetite, from the time I was a tiny girl. My hidden flashlight, prying my eyelids open to finish just a "few more pages," you readers know what I am talking about. I still am guilty of it. As the ever sagacious Frog would say, "We must have will power Toad." With a 5:30 am alarm looming nearer, I still often can't close my book. By giving her little ideas about how exciting reading can be, I've hoped to get her hooked on independent reading. Sometimes as she begs and begs for one more chapter, I mention offhandedly she could always read it herself...

Tonight my heart warmed when I came upon this scene. Hopefully the trend continues.

She is reading a book on the Titanic. I think they just hit the iceberg.

Phonogram Fun: Our New Homeschool Reading Program

We've begun our Writing Road to Reading program. Also called the Spalding Method. The girls really enjoy learning the 70 different phonograms, on the flashcards you see in the video above. Ellery is close to knowing them all. Callista has learned about half. Emmett, is hilarious. This is by far his favorite part of the day. He searches for the phonogram cards and starts making monkey sounds, okay letter sounds. Don't worry, he isn't really reading the sound from the card :) but it is amazing what he picks up while he terrorizes the toys and books.

About the Writing Road to Reading Method

I love this method so far. It was very overwhelming to me at first. The book, the marking system, it all seemed so complicated. I bought the Writing Road to Reading book, the Kindergarten and Second Grade Teacher manuals, the phonogram cards and CD, word builder cards, mental action posters, spelling notebooks, and McCall-Crabbs Test lessons in reading. All available on their website. I also ordered from amazon a book which breaks down the Spalding method for homeschoolers. It is titled, Teaching Reading at Home and School by Wanda Sanseri.

Paring it Down

After spending many hours the last 6 weeks, I have decided only to use the Spelling/Phonics portion of the program. Based on the research I have done with the classical method and the way children's brains work, I am not going to start teaching formal grammar or writing this year. Instead we will focus on copywork (copying word for word, punctuation etc. of scriptures, poems, and selections from the stories we read) and dictation. This takes the "overwhelming" out of the program. (It cuts out about 2/3 of the book.) Spalding recommends 3 hours a day for the complete program. Clearly that was not going to work for us. The proven methodology of this program is in the phonics/spelling/reading. The other parts have been added later, to make a complete language arts program.

What I Don't Need

I probably didn't need the teachers manuals. They are written for classroom teachers, but sold as homeschooling manuals (a little deceiving). And they were expensive, (70$ a piece). I may use them more next year, we will see. So the verdict is probably still out. However, if you are on a shoestring budget, pass. Ellery wasn't yet ready for the 2nd grade curriculum. She needed to be introduced to all the phonograms, rules, marking system. That part felt a little overwhelming, playing catch up. I think beginning reading in this program is far simpler than starting an older child.

We use the McCall-Crabbs reading passages a little differently. We use them for dictation/recitation. I read them to the girls (or Ellery reads) and they try to recite back as much as possible what they heard. When they get better at this we will move on to writing as much as they can.

Sanseri's book is very helpful. She strays from the program a bit, but she has some great scope and sequence ideas for homeschoolers. It is definitely worth it.

Advantages of the Program

What amazes me about this programs is how phonetical the English language actually is. There are very few "sight" words. I am struck by the huge loop holes in the other phonics programs I have used, and researched, or seen Ellery use at school. There is so much more to things than long a and short a. For example there are actually 5 ways silent e's are used in our language. Did you know that? I didn't. I have learned some much and I am a college graduate. It is a little embarrassing actually. But the information is valuable and makes so much sense, where there used to be mystery. I wouldn't recommend teaching reading any other way. This is a proven method, and well worth researching for your own children.

Ellery is still learning to actually "see" the phonograms in the words she reads in a book. When she becomes fluent in that, I think her reading skills will really feel a boost. Right now she has stopped trying to sound out words and just blasts through guessing. This program should improve her accuracy. Callista, we just do as much as she wants. No pressure. I just try to keep it fun and positive for her.

We usually break the lesson up into a few different parts about 15-20 minutes a piece. We review and learn new phonograms orally during one session. Later, we work on writing the phonograms (a harder skill, to hear the sounds and remember the phonogram spelling) and finally dictating spelling words (about 15 words 3 times a week or so).

Looking Forward

I will keep you posted on my feelings of this program and how the children progress. I am excited for the potential. Especially next year, when we will be focussing on it exclusively. I think we are going to withdraw completely from the elementary school. More on that to come!

Sunday Insights: Mothers, Teaching, and Public Schools

A recent talk by Elder Perry seems appropriate to celebrate this Mother's Day. What follows are some excerpts from his talk given in April, and my personal thoughts concerning them:

"Teaching in the home is becoming increasingly important in today’s world, where the influence of the adversary is so widespread and he is attacking, attempting to erode and destroy the very foundation of our society, even the family."

Two thought provoking and provocative books I recently read assert that public schools are one way families are being attacked. Both books are by John Taylor Gatto, a renowned, 30 year veteran school teacher of the NYC public school system. (Dumbing us Down and Weapons of Mass Instruction, I recommend the second more than the first. It is more historical and substantive. While I do not agree 100% with everything Gatto says, his books are well worth a discerning read.)

One premise in his book is that by taking children away from their families for the majority of the day, when they are most vulnerable to outside influences, parents eventually become secondary in the lives of their children. Ever seen this happen?

Do We Know What our Children are Taught Outside of our Home?

"My siblings and I were quizzed very carefully by our mother after we had been taught away from the home to be certain the correct lessons were reaching our ears and shaping our minds."

How many of us quiz our children about how their minds are being shaped as they are away from us? Are we able to "detect the subtle and brazen" attempts to destroy our families. A few recent examples from our own life seem pertinent. These examples speak to the questionable influences of school in my own child's life. Two represent outward pressure enforced on children by other children, resulting from the financial aims of the school and the final a disturbing lack of solid curricula.

School Contests

Our school cafeteria devised a contest scheme amongst classrooms. The class with the most students purchasing school lunch in a month would receive a class party. Now, I have eaten lunch at our school and the offerings are little less than poison to a growing child's body. The pressure resulting from this contest, had a dear friend of mine, with 4 children in the school, baffled and digging deep into her pockets to supply the sudden desire of her children to eat school lunch. It also led to comments from children like "Our class isn't going to win because so-and-so has allergies and he will never eat school lunch." Hmmm.

And then yet another contest Ellery came home passionate about. The class with the most children visiting a particular website (and she proceeded with a 5 minute discussion of the password, multiple clicks and destinations required) and purchase a season pass to the local water park would receive a party. She was devastated when I told her we wouldn't be purchasing a season pass. I am having a baby and it isn't practical. "But we have to so my class can get the party!"

Can you see where this is going? Why did they spend so much time "schooling" my child about how to visit a website to raise money for the school? The sponsorship and encouragement of these contests results in the shaming and guilt of the non-participative children and families. Inexcusable. This is not the kind of socialization I want for my child. It is pitting children against their parents. Our innocent little ones want a party, who doesn't, and when mom and dad stand in the way, who becomes the bad guy, the school or the parents? I realize this is not deliberately done by teachers or administrators. They are good people trying to earn a living and help children, in a broken system. I know, I was one of them.

School Content

Finally, a third example which distressed me recently. We attended a little program put on by the first graders. The children spent a great deal of time learning and memorizing songs about families, being VIP's, sharing, being kind to Grandma etc. It was very cute and entertaining program. (Although Ellery complained several times in the weeks previous about how boring it was to always practice the songs.) So why does this upset me you wonder? What could be wrong with teaching the children values at school?

The problem is school is not the setting to teach these values. Values separated from God, the gospel and our families don't have staying power. They are simply words from strangers, divorced of meaning. The home is where values are taught. Schooling should be about educating. If we aren't educating at school, and we have no time left to do it at home, when does it happen? Why wasn't my child singing cute songs full of accurate historical data? Why was she learning "social studies" instead of history. (Another great read addressing this issue is Cultural Literacy by E.D. Hirsch. The middle gets a bit long, but he presents some compelling data on how schools are failing to educate our children anymore.)

Lost Luxuries

As I read Elder Perry's talk I think about the "luxuries" afforded to mother's and families 70 years ago. He speaks of washing dishes and churning butter (I know churning butter doesn't seem like a luxury, but it was time the family worked and did things together)...school, media, and activities weren't so intrusive. Time was left for the chosen curriculum both secular and spiritual of his mother. Many families today don't have that luxury. By our own design, through over-scheduling and media, or through the demands of school assigned homework. Homework is not curriculum chosen by mothers or families.

"Parents must resolve that teaching in the home is a most sacred and important responsibility. While other institutions, such as church and school, can assist parents to “train up a child in the way he [or she] should go” (Proverbs 22:6), ultimately this responsibility rests with parents."

I believe an extremely vigilant parent can work within the school system and have a strong family. However, without severely limiting activities and media, constant surveillance, and supplementation of their education I don't know how this is possible. Who does that? Is that why families are falling apart? Could that be why LDS church leaders beg us to filter out media from our lives and really focus on our sacred God given roles?

Being the Central Cast Member

"According to the great plan of happiness, it is parents who are entrusted with the care and development of our Heavenly Father’s children. Our families are an integral part of His work and glory —“to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” (Moses 1:39). On God’s eternal stage, it is usually intended that parents act as the central cast members in their children’s lives. Fortunately, there are understudies involved in the production who may step in when parents can’t. It, however, is parents who have been commanded by the Lord to bring up their children in light and truth

(see D&C 93:40).

Brent and I are determined to be the central cast members in our children's lives. It will be difficult and I know we will face scorn. Any time our choices move out of the mainstream people feel threatened or offended. I still struggle getting past my own insecurity in dealing with the scrutiny and questioning of others in our decisions on how to raise our family, but I am constantly comforted and guided by a husband, impervious to what others think of him (a true gift), and the Holy Spirit.

"I believe it is by divine design that the role of motherhood emphasizes the nurturing and teaching of the next generation. We see so many challenges today from distracting and destructive influences intended to mislead God’s children. We are seeing many young people who lack the deep spiritual roots necessary to remain standing in faith as storms of unbelief and despair swirl around them. Too many of our Father in Heaven’s children are being overcome by worldly desires. The onslaught of wickedness against our children is at once more subtle and more brazen than it has ever been. Teaching the gospel of Jesus Christ in the home adds another layer of insulation to protect our children from worldly influences."

A Challenge and Vision

I would challenge each of us as mother's or parents, to prayerfully discern the best ways to be the central role players in our children's lives, to insulate and protect them. Personally, I feel lucky. This is a journey most effectively begun now when my children are young. It is about being the best mother I can, looking back on Mother's Day many years from now without regret, only with joy.

Happy Mother's Day to All...Now and Future

Sunday Insights: A Softer Approach

This week I was taught to soften my approach,

and to refrain from undeservedly qualifying my views of "good."

The Cascade Literary Guild on the Orchards

This week marked the last Thursday of the month, and as such, the meeting of the Cascade Literary Guild on the Orchards (I admit, a fancy name for our book club). I look forward to this each month. I think one of my favorite things about this club is I am 25 years the junior of all other members. For the last 5 years this has allowed me a unique and refreshing insight into the minds of women, in completely different stages of life. These Grandmothers and Great Grandmothers offer a worldview unique and invaluable to me, as I strive to keep perspective in my little world of raising babies.

Three Cups of Tea

Our book this month was Three Cups of Tea. It is an inspiring account of the humanitarian efforts of Greg Mortenson in Pakistan and Afghanistan. His work stands as a testament of the power one individual has to change lives. As we discussed the good of this man and the wonderful Muslim people with whom he works, our discussion broadened to the invaluable contribution of all God-fearing people. While heterogeneous in age, profession and many other things, our Guild is homogenous in religious devotions. We were organized (but currently are not affiliated) as an outgrowth of the women's organization of our church, The Relief Society. I was able to share some of my experiences from being in the Holy Land. I gained a love for the Arab people (most of whom were Muslim) with whom I met and interacted. We had Islamic Clerics teach us of the 7 pillars of Islam. I left with a deep respect for a misunderstood religion and people.

Cultural Nutshell

It has been a unique experience to spend my adult life in an area predominantly of those of my religion. While the religion is never an issue, the culture of the area sometimes has been difficult to adjust to. I grew up in Iowa, Illinois, Michigan and Colorado. I became accustomed to being one of a very few who shared my beliefs. Some culture perceptions and colloquialisms often become thought of as doctrinal, but in fact are not. One colloquialism brought up was "They are such a wonderful person. And they aren't even Mormon!"

If You're Mormon You're Good

The danger in this phrase comes with the underlying assertion that you are automatically a "good" person if you are a Mormon, and if you aren't Mormon, you have to somehow prove you are "good." Clearly in no way is this the doctrine. I have met many of my faith, who are not pillars of goodness, and many outside of my faith who live

The Only True Church

One of the women in our club pointed out that we no longer preach "We are the only true church on the earth." With that statement I had to disagree. I feel this is a fundamental principle of our church. If it were not so, why would we proselyte? What need would there be for our church? We clarified as a group. What the women were trying to help me understand was the sensitivity now in which we present ourselves has increased. A better way to describe the doctrine, more consistent with the approach now taken, is that we are the only church which claims to have the authority to act in the name of God through his holy priesthood. Therefore, we have the fulness of the truth, an indispensable piece of the puzzle. We can add to the truth that so many other wonderful religions possess. Truth is out there in so many places and with so many people.

The Second Coming of Christ and the Millennium

Today Brent taught a lesson at church on the Millennium. He has beens studying it in depth for the last month or so. I have piggy-backed his journey a bit as well. It was amazing how many misconceptions I have grown up with concerning this period. I found I had fallen again into a sort of religious centrism. Here are some of my misconceptions...and I am just scratching the surface, I bet I have hundreds more!

A Few Misconceptions

1-At the second coming of the Savior "every knee shall bow and tongue confess that Jesus is the Christ." This always meant to me, everyone would accept the fulness of the gospel and join in my faith. How wrong I was. Joseph Smith and Brigham Young both taught extensively about how other religions will still exist after the advent of his coming and during the millennium. All those who are truly seeking to be good people will be saved from the burning.

2-Parable of the 10 Virgins. I have always understood this parable to be directed at those who have received the fulness of his gospel. Only half of them will be prepared to meet the Lord at his Second Coming. Again, here came the blinders for me. I thought this meant those who will escape the calamities are only 1/2 of the members of my faith. That would be a very small lot. (I have to say this is a bit embarrassing to write about, as I realize how shallow and closed-minded these views were. But I actually think they are quite prevalent.)

What I now realize is "where much is given much is required." There will be a lot more simple, faithful people living in rural Afghanistan and China that will be saved than members of my own faith. It is ME who'd better be worried. Not them! "Approaching Zion" warns of this in large measure. It is much more difficult to keep ourselves out of Babylon when we are surrounded by money and media, than if we are trying to eek by to survive against the elements and keep our families alive and fed.

3-Satan is Bound During the Millennium. But...there is still agency. All people will be living righteous lives, but as God's plan will not be frustrated, all must still chose to follow him and the degree to which they will accept his truth. Again, there will be good people of all faiths. It will be a glorious time to arrive. In God's magnificent plan only the wicked are punished. All people who live virtuous lives will be rewarded. The key, however to the fulness of glory and happiness, of living together as families forever, is only through the church with His priesthood and authority on earth.

It really makes so much more sense. When Christ is King, and we have a true one-world order, not the false one so many seek to establish today, it will be a 1000 year season of peace and love for all those who are truly righteous and kind, and keep themselves out of the modern Babylon.

Lesson Learned and Applied

"Good" comes in so many colors and faces and religions. We can find it everywhere we go, if we are looking with a softened heart. I am grateful this week to have been taught by the wonderful ladies in the Cascade Literary Guild on the Orchards, the good word of God and his prophets, and my sweet husband. Hopefully I can become a more Christlike person because of it. And I just better watch out, because it is people like me who are in greatest danger of burning! (Well me, and the really obviously wicked.)

P.S. I know I give zero references for things, again this is more like a personal journal and I want my own family to search the answers for themselves, maybe I can give them food for thought and a springboard to start from.