Whew...

Perinatologist

A little update...the appointment with the perinatologist was good and bad. The baby looks very healthy, just small. Nothing to be concerned about. Good. However, she put me on full bed rest. Bad. I asked her to be more specific, she said laying on my side all day long. No cooking, cleaning, leaving the home, picking up children.... This seemed extremely drastic to me. We have spent the last 3 days figuring out how to make this all work. My mom came down yesterday and grocery shopped and got us all organized. Countless family and friends have offered to pitch in.

A Light in the Tunnel

Today I spent more time at the hospital and doctor. But finally I had a good appointment!!! My protein in my urine had dropped from 260 to 90! My doctor was flabbergasted. My blood pressure was finally under the 140/90 mark. He modified my bed rest for me. While I am still totally housebound, he gave me the okay for simple meal prep, and walking around in my home. This simplifies things enormously! I can sit at my computer and post a blog. The next 4 weeks are definitely looking more positive.

A special thank you to all those of you who have remembered me in your thoughts and prayers.

Tongues and Hair

It was so fun at the perinatologist during the detailed ultrasound. Our little girl was opening and closing her eyes, sucking her fist and thumb, sticking out her tongue, yawning, stretching, and she even had some flowing hair visible on the back of her head. Imagine that. It is possible I won't have a bald baby. It is a miracle a woman's body can actually nourish and sustain another life inside of her, from 2 little haploid cells to the little body within me now.

Peanut Butter and Honey Delights

These little moist peanut butter treats have landed in our kitchen twice in the last two weeks. Last week, the cookies lasted a single day. The rapid disappearance was due to 2 factors; one, the delicious taste, and two, during homeschool, Emmett snuck his chair up to the kitchen counter, and meticulously licked every last bit of chocolate off of each frosted cookie. He's no dummy!

Peanut Butter and Honey Delights

1 c extra virgin coconut oil

1 c unsweetened natural peanut butter

1/2 c raw agave nectar or xylitol

1/2 c honey

1 t baking soda

1 t baking powder

2 eggs (powdered or fresh) or 2 T ground flax

1 t vanilla

3 c freshly ground whole grain flour

Mix all ingredients, excluding flour, until smooth. Add flour and mix gently. You may have to reduce flour or add more depending on the dough consistency. Bake at 375 degrees for 7-9 minutes.

Chocolate Fudge Frosting

1/2 c cocoa powder

1/2 c pure maple syrup

1/2 t vanilla

dash of salt

This frosting is a great hot fudge, and fruit dip. It is so easy to make. Usually I just dump and change the proportions based on the consistency I want. Many recipes call for added coconut oil, but I think the added fat is unnecessary. We prefer without.

Sunday Insights: Seeking the Best Gifts

Gifts Many

I don't think I have spent enough time and prayers in my life seeking the "best gifts." The scriptures are replete with mentions of the spiritual gifts of God, given to those who serve them. We find these gifts mentioned my Paul in 1 Corinthians, Moroni names and pleads for us to recognize and seek these gifts in the very moments he closes his epic account in the Book of Mormon in Moroni 10, and finally Joseph Smith again reiterates in D&C 46.

Be Blessed, and Bless

The gifts are varied and wonderful. We are not given them all. But as Paul explains, the church and members are as the body of Christ. Each of us are given different gifts, we become different "parts" but together function as a whole. Yet, we are also commanded to seek earnestly these gifts, that we, and those around us may all benefit.

Personally

Both messages struck home to me this week. I felt immensely blessed by a spiritual gift given to someone in my family. Equal to that immensity was the gravity and necessity I felt to pray for a gift for myself, to aid in the efficacy of the blessing. The Lord stands ready and willing to help. We must seek the way. Find those who will help us in our journey and train our own lives to seeking His will.

This all amounts to the continuing drama in this pregnancy. But despite the extreme actions and precautions of my doctors I am confident this pregnancy will result in a healthy baby girl to add to our beautiful family, and that my health will be sustained. In church today, a sweet great grandma said to me "Oh, Rebecca, your children are just so beautiful and sweet, I just hope you have at least a dozen!" I smiled and sincerely thanked her. I somehow doubt that is in the cards for us.

A less than ideal doctors visit on Thursday, resulted in multiple visits to the hospital (which will continue for the duration of the pregnancy) and 1-2 doctor visits a week now. It is extremely time consuming. Still no full bed rest, thankfully. Tuesday, I visit the perinatologists, specialists in treating high risk pregnancies.

After an ultrasound, there is some concern my baby is not growing quickly enough, another side effect of preeclampsia. Irregardless of my history of small babies the doctors remained concerned. The perinatologists will be able to give us more accurate information on how big our little love bug is, and assure us that the umbilical cord and placenta are not toughening. I am certain their expertise will bring good news.

Peace

Amidst all this alarming information, I employed every persuasive tactic known to assuage my doctors fears. But to them, it is the sum of all the little parts that spell caution in capital letters. Admittedly, this week flooded me with tears and emotions. But the remaining emotion after sifting and working through myriad, is peace. Peace is what I will hold on to. I can testify the Lord is with me each step of the way, intimately acquainted with each turn in the road, leading me tenderly, often through the gifts and influence of those closest to me.

One Big Birthday Party

The early birthday girl...

All the May (and one April) Birthdays.... Julie, Kyle, Keith, Abby, and Ellery

Playing Red Rover with Mimi and Papa...

Do they look like they are enjoying themselves?

Of course everyone received a little prize...

Papa and Emmett

These two have always had a special bond. Emmett would monopolize every moment of Papi's time if he could. He spends all day talking about him.

It may have something to do with the really cool cars Papa can draw for him...you will note the difference between Brent and his father's!

Baby's First Gift

My incredibly talented mother-in-law made this beautiful quilt for our new bundle. I am always amazed at the eye she has for choosing colors and fabrics to put together in just the right manner.

Bulging Belly

I actually love this stage of pregnancy. Here I am today, photo courtesy of Callista.

Almost 31 weeks, and feeling amazing.

Backyard Predator

One big reason we love our backyard snakes.

Sunday Insights: Humility of a Child

Last week, we had one of those days which didn't seem to work out right. I am delving into some new curriculums based on the Classical Methodology for our homeschooling. As soon as I work out the kinks I will post on my new vision and direction for next year. It is requiring an intensive effort on my part. However, I feel the end results will be excellent and not too labor intensive on a day to day basis.

Some things work and some don't. The particular line up I tried, on this day last week, didn't. Ellery was a bit grumpy on top of everything. We finished the morning, and I felt a huge chasm between where I want my teaching and mothering skills to be, and the reality of the day.

And then, this:

We've recently read some Graeme Base books, thus the girls are enthralled with incorporating hidden letters and pictures into everything.

Certain days I more vividly reminded of how much I have to learn from my children. On this particular morning, I felt more confused by the words of the Savior to his disciples in Matthew 18:2-3

"And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them. And said, Verily I way unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven."

I wondered how it could possibly help me to be difficult, and grumpy, stamp my foot, let fly an occasional, extremely loud outburst...But then again, I wasn't responding in perhaps the most effective manner.

And yet, my sweet little Ellery, at first occasion upon arrival home from school wrote me a love note. She seems convinced I am the most wonderful mother in the world and our time together is precious and even "fun" to her, this all springing forth from her little heart on one of our hardest days.

Matthew 18:4-5

"Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me."

I pray fervently to have this kind of forgiving heart, and see through weaknesses in others and love so unconditionally as my children do. In so doing, I will receive Christ, more fully and completely.

Houdini Chickens and "Eggies"

Our chickens recently had an addition to their home. A back porch upgrade. Who said chickens can't take advantage of the Obama Home Renovation Incentive?

However, this expansion led to unforeseen escape tactics.

Repeated "fleeing of the coop" resulted in wing trimming, which was far less painless than I anticipated.

The chickens were quite oblivious to the snip of the flight feathers.

But somehow they kept escaping...They started using the ramp from the play fort, or squeezing through between fence and pen.

I think we have finally thwarted all escape measures. All those plumping, hatching insects are quite the draw. The warmer weather has also made these ladies ultra productive. We are averaging 15-16 eggs a week now.

I have to say one of my favorite parts about having these chickens is little Emmett saying "EGGIE!" and pumping is fingers for me to follow him out to the coop to check for eggs. Then he lovingly, insists upon cradling the egg or eggs between his chubby little fingers into the house. Usually this results in a crack. But by now we all should know this is not a mother who can resist the word "eggie" coming out of her 2 year olds mouth.

Happy Birthday Mom

Wedding Portrait 1973

The more I learn about myself, the easier it is for me to recognize the gifts and selfless acts of service I received to make me who I am today. Paramount among all the gifts I have been given are those bestowed by my mother. Most significant was her absolute devotion, devoid of distraction to her children. She allowed me to be who I wanted to become, even when it was different from her.

January 1978 My Birth: Why do none of my children have hair?

From fourth grade on, she catered to my animal justice and rigid dietary decisions. She learned about TVP and constantly was on the lookout for sources of protein for her vegetarian child. In fact every night, a dinner was on the table, which accommodated me. I had no idea of the depth of this commitment and support until I have become a mother cooking my own dinners each night for my family.

Me, Mom, and Charlotte

Love notes lurked on my pillows and slipped under my slammed door in my teenage years. My room somehow magically was cleaned when I begged her not to, assuring her it would get done after school. So many memories come flooding back of sitting on my floor crying during those difficult adolescent years of bickering friends and hurtful situations. I was never alone. She was always there next to me, with a pen and paper, making lists of my good qualities, and the good qualities of those who seemed to me my enemies by all exhibited behaviors.

Mom and Callista 2005, This one was irresistible with the trademark Red Lipstick!

Her pattern of total devotion, didn't end when I left the house. At a moments notice, after a single phone call, she has repeatedly dropped everything and come. In my moments of need. Multiple pregnancies in distress, when I was an overwhelmed, overtired mother of a baby who wouldn't sleep, caring for a sick infant in a hospital my other children are whisked away to Grandmas, even this week, with yet another pregnancy scare, she was ready to drop everything and come.

I love you mom. I don't think I have said thank you enough times. I don't think I could.

Happy Birthday one more year until the big one!

The Path Chosen

Guess what could be found in my fridge this week? A tall orange jug, similar to one you may have seen here before...

After a big scare on Tuesday things are quiet on the home front now. I at least have another week in the clear, until my next doctors appointment/blood draw/collection.

The little sweet pea inside me should have fully mature lungs by this point. I know, because I had a 4 inch needle to the hip twice.

I have to admit this method my body seems to have of getting babies into this world is puzzling to me. Such a stark contrast to what I envisioned for myself. I just keep reminding myself of the lesson I learned at my hair dressers 6 years ago. "Just think what it might have been." If I was obese, sedentary, junk food addict, maybe I would have babies born at 29 weeks. But so far every time this body has taken them to 37 weeks. Instead of frustration, I begin to feel overwhelming gratitude. I have 3 beautiful children. One more on the way.

I have to admit, bawling to my doctor on Tuesday. This wasn't what I envisioned. I want to experience childbirth. The contractions, the challenge, the pain, the euphoria. But again I was reminded to count my blessings. I know too many beautiful women who would trade places in a moment with me, to carry their own child.

There are so many lessons to be found in life. Each circumstance I encounter helps me learn and grow and relinquish just a little more of myself to the Savior, recognizing I am not in charge. I pursue the path I feel he directs me in, but don't chose the things that meet me upon that path. Yet I am confident this is the right way for me. Without that confidence I don't know how anyone has the strength to meet all the challenges this world has to offer.

I'm reminded of Ellery's favorite part in Robert Frosts "The Road Not Taken."

Oh, I kept the first for another day

Yet, knowing how way leads on to way

I doubted if I should ever come back.

"Proceed with confidence. Knowing your steps are guided as you strive to stay close to your Heavenly Father." These words are a personal treasure given to me 14 years ago.