t h e m a y f i l e s is foremost a family blog, chronicling everyday life. Life including natural, healthy eating (with recipes thrown in at random), home educating (with ideas popping up sporadically), an attempt to homestead on .2 acres (with very meager yields), raising 3 of 4 children with a rare genetic disorder, and lots of highly personal family triumphs and failures. You may also find an eclectic array of musings on politics, exercise, sewing, emergency preparedness, backyard chickens, and religion. This blog isn't a campaign to glorify anyone or anything. Just simply a record.


The Path Chosen

Guess what could be found in my fridge this week? A tall orange jug, similar to one you may have seen here before...

After a big scare on Tuesday things are quiet on the home front now. I at least have another week in the clear, until my next doctors appointment/blood draw/collection.

The little sweet pea inside me should have fully mature lungs by this point. I know, because I had a 4 inch needle to the hip twice.

I have to admit this method my body seems to have of getting babies into this world is puzzling to me. Such a stark contrast to what I envisioned for myself. I just keep reminding myself of the lesson I learned at my hair dressers 6 years ago. "Just think what it might have been." If I was obese, sedentary, junk food addict, maybe I would have babies born at 29 weeks. But so far every time this body has taken them to 37 weeks. Instead of frustration, I begin to feel overwhelming gratitude. I have 3 beautiful children. One more on the way.

I have to admit, bawling to my doctor on Tuesday. This wasn't what I envisioned. I want to experience childbirth. The contractions, the challenge, the pain, the euphoria. But again I was reminded to count my blessings. I know too many beautiful women who would trade places in a moment with me, to carry their own child.

There are so many lessons to be found in life. Each circumstance I encounter helps me learn and grow and relinquish just a little more of myself to the Savior, recognizing I am not in charge. I pursue the path I feel he directs me in, but don't chose the things that meet me upon that path. Yet I am confident this is the right way for me. Without that confidence I don't know how anyone has the strength to meet all the challenges this world has to offer.

I'm reminded of Ellery's favorite part in Robert Frosts "The Road Not Taken."

Oh, I kept the first for another day
Yet, knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

"Proceed with confidence. Knowing your steps are guided as you strive to stay close to your Heavenly Father." These words are a personal treasure given to me 14 years ago.

1 comment:

Brittney said...

I'm so sorry you've been having problems. I hope everything goes okay these next few weeks. I'll be praying for you!