Sigh...

It was a day full of little disappointments for me and for little Berkeley. The nurses happened to mention in passing she had failed her hearing screening. Audiology is there now doing a more intensive screening. I should receive a phone call soon. I am not hopeful. It seems like we start the "glue ear" road again. It isn't like we haven't been here before, I just was hoping we wouldn't come back. At least this time I am not panicked about her actually being permanently deaf, which is what we feared with Ellery for almost 2 months.

I have tried to secretly do the clap test around her to see if she startles. She doesn't. But maybe I am wrong. Maybe she just had wax in her ears when they tried before.

I know there are so many more truly awful things in life. At least I am seasoned in dealing with Berkeley's little issues.

We tried to be a bit more aggressive with Berkeley's eating, to see if we could maybe jump start her a bit. I mentioned, maybe she would want to eat 5 minutes every hour or so, and end up with the same cumulative amount of milk. Because she is almost 39 weeks, they gave the go ahead.

This morning at 10:30, she only had a half feeding, but they didn't gavage feed the rest. The idea is that she would be hungry and anxious for her next feeding. I stick around to respond to her hunger cues. At 2:30 she was still completely disinterested in eating and showing no signs of hunger. It was disappointing. The nurse keeps reminding the rough go, she has had the last 14 days, and to be patient.

This learning to eat isn't a problem. It doesn't signal any issues. It is just a waiting game. But it is very unusual given her gestational age.

When will I finally learn this patience lesson? I am feeling impatient about it. I just want my little baby home and healthy.